Your Birth, Your Options: True Self-Advocacy through Childbirth Education with Birth Doula & Childbirth Educator Kelli Blinn (World Doula Week 2025)
In this World Doula Week 2025 episode of the Breath and Birth co podcast, Vanessa welcomes Kelli Blinn, an experienced birth doula and childbirth educator from Columbus, Ohio. Kelli shares her journey into birth work, inspired by her childhood fascination with the pregnant body and childbirth. They discuss the differences between home births and hospital births, emphasizing the importance of advocacy, education, and personalized care in the childbirth process. Kelli highlights the significance of mental health support, the role of partners, and introduces her new self-paced online childbirth education course. The episode underscores the value of being informed and prepared, advocating for oneself, and the profound transformation that childbirth entails for both the birthing person and their partners. Tune in for a rich discussion aimed at empowering and supporting expectant families through their unique birth journeys.
“I want fewer people to feel like birth happened to them. I want more people to feel like they were empowered in this process and they owned their story and they made these informed choices and they knew what was going on.”
-Kelli Blinn
Mentioned in This Episode:
a. A Child is Born: Fifth Edition by Lennart Nilsson*
b. The Postpartum Pact from The Postpartum Stress Center, currently available in the book, “What Am I Thinking?” by Karen Kleiman.
c. The Birth Partner 5th Edition: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Partners, Doulas, and Other Labor Companions by Penny Simkin*
*Affiliate Link
The Journey into Birth Work
Kelli Blinn’s passion for birth work began as a child, sparked by her discovery of a book on pregnancy hidden away in her family’s basement. This early fascination led her to explore the various facets of birth, ultimately finding her calling as a doula. Kelli’s unique background, blending experiences in both home birth and hospital settings, provides her with a well-rounded perspective on birth.
Understanding the Birth Environment
Throughout our conversation, Kelli emphasized the differences between home and hospital births. She highlighted the patient-centered care of midwives in home birth settings, who often allow nature to take its course with minimal intervention. In contrast, hospital births can be more procedural. Kelli's experience in both environments has informed her practice, enabling her to offer diverse options and perspectives to her clients.
The Role of Advocacy in Birth
A central theme in our discussion was advocacy in the birthing space. Kelli empowers her clients to advocate for themselves, emphasizing the importance of being an informed, active participant in their birth experience. She believes in teaching clients to ask questions and engage in dialogue with healthcare providers to ensure their voices are heard and their preferences respected.
Birth Education: Your Birth, Your Options
Kelli recently launched a self-paced online childbirth education course, "Your Birth, Your Options," designed to help expectant parents make informed decisions. The course focuses on:
understanding the physiological aspects of childbirth
the importance of mindset
and navigating the various options available throughout the birthing process.
Empowering Partners and Support Persons
The conversation also touched on the role of partners and support persons in the birth process. Kelli encourages partners to be present and proactive, participating in childbirth education and preparing for the transformative journey of parenthood. She shared resources like the The Postpartum Pact from The Postpartum Stress Center, which helps couples anticipate and discuss post-birth needs.
Embracing the Birth Journey
Kelli Blinn's passion for birth work is evident in her dedication to supporting and educating birthing individuals. Her insights remind us of the importance of embracing the entire spectrum of the birthing experience, from pregnancy to postpartum. Tune into Episode 24 of the Breath & Birth Co Podcast for a deeper dive into Kelli's approach and to learn more about empowering your birth experience. Whether you’re planning for a home birth or navigating the hospital environment, Kelli’s wisdom is an invaluable resource for anyone on the brink of this incredible life journey.
Connect with Kelli
🌿 Want to connect with Kelli Blinn or learn more about her services?
You can find her @doulakelliblinn or check out her offerings on her website.
Subscribe, Share & Review:
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00:00 Introduction to the Breath and Birth Co Podcast
00:52 Meet Kelli Blin: Experienced Doula and Educator
01:15 Kelli's Journey into Birth Work
05:00 Home Birth vs. Hospital Birth: A Doula's Perspective
09:39 Misconceptions About Pregnancy and Postpartum
18:03 The Role of Advocacy in the Perinatal Process
29:26 Private Educators vs. Hospital Childbirth Education
29:54 The Importance of Childbirth Education
31:19 Birth Trauma and the Role of Education
32:06 Empowering Birth Experiences
35:14 Introducing Your Birth, Your Options, Kelli Blinn’s Online Self-Paced Childbirth Education Course (available now!)
39:56 Practical Tips for an Empowered Birth
42:55 Support for Partners During Birth
47:12 The Role of a Doula and Partner Involvement
52:30 Staying Passionate and Motivated in Birth Work
55:50 Closing Remarks and Encouragement
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Vanessa: Welcome to the Breath and Birth co podcast. I'm Vanessa, a hospital-based DONA- international certified birth doula, and passionate childbirth educator. I love to merge the power of your intuition with the precision of modern medicine to help you navigate pregnancy and birth your way. Each week, we kick off with Monday meditations to bring calm and connection to your pregnancy.
Then we build your confidence through insights, birth stories, and care provider perspectives during thoughtful Thursdays. Ready to feel supported, informed, and empowered. Hit subscribe to the Breath and Birth Code podcast today and let's embark on this transformational journey together. As a reminder, any information shared here is not medical advice.
For more details, visit breath and birth co dot com/disclaimer.
Vanessa: Hello and happy world doula week today. I've got Kelli Blin with me. She's an amazing birth doula and childbirth educator here in Columbus, Ohio. She has been in the birth space for well over 10 years now. In fact, the baby from the first birth she attended is now 19 years old.
Plus she just launched her own self-paced online childbirth education course this week too, so be sure to check out the show notes for more information. Hi Kelli.
Can you tell us a little bit more about yourself?
Kelli: Hi. Yes, I'm Kelli Blinn. I'm born and raised here in central Ohio. And so to get to do this work that I have dreamed about since being a child in the town where I live, where I'm from, still feels like I could pinch myself and, still feels a little bit surreal.
Vanessa: myself and, uh, it still feels a little bit
Kelli: Yeah, actually. So as a 10 year old girl, I found my parents copy of the book, A Child is Born. Which I think was like from the 60s or 70s. And it's one of those books, if you're not, are you familiar with that book?
Vanessa: mind when you think about
Kelli: Yeah, it's one of those books. Um, It's like photographs of the inside of the womb of like what the baby looks like at four weeks, eight weeks, you know, like
Vanessa: know
Kelli: kind of
their guests about what's going on in there.
And, um, what's funny is I grew up in a family that did not talk about
babies and where they came from,
uh, the birds and the bees talk after me finding this book. Um, so it's even funny now as an adult looking back and being like, why did they have that book to begin with? You know,
but it was just kind of tucked away, dusty on a bookshelf in the basement that we didn't even use.
And so I found it and I was like,
I, I remember just kind of flipping through it for a while by myself and then bringing it upstairs and being like, what is this? Like, where does, like, what is all of this about? And
I can't remember exactly like how my parents responded other than like, we'll talk about that when you're a little bit older.
I just kind of remember, I kind of hid the book away in a different part of the basement so that I could just keep looking at it. And then, You know, I just remember, like, if I would have to go with my mom to her, like, annual OB, her, her gynecologist appointments, right,
to stay home,
I would stare at the pregnant people in the room and she'd be like, stop staring.
Like, that's rude. But I, my eyes were just drawn to the bellies truly. Um, so this obsession really started very innocently or organically when I was a kid. And,
I was an odd kid that through high school or, my college years, that was the, the aisle of the bookstore, the aisle of the library that I gravitated to,
, I did some of my projects on, more like reproductive health
than my peers were doing at, those young ages.
So
it really
happened to me very innocently, but in a beautiful way. What I knew of as a 10 year old, or as I grew up and was in high school and beyond
getting into this work that you could be an OB or you could be a nurse and that was really how you're going to get your foot in the door related to birthing bodies and babies.
That's all my family knew at that time.
Vanessa: Mm Hmm.
Kelli: I very quickly realized going through high school and beyond, like math and science are not my strong suits. So maybe med school
is not for me. And so I just.
I
really tabled the idea, but this was just always a hobby, an interest in the background. And then, as I got older, out of college, some of my friends older than me, having kiddos, starting their families, doing things differently related to birth.
I learned about.
midwifery and home birth and doulas. So whether it's midwives in a home birth setting or midwives in a hospital setting. And so that just like expanded my,
, idea of how I could still be in this space.
I'll have to go to med school
or nursing school.
Vanessa: And from what I know of you, you have experienced both in the home birth and hospital settings. Is that accurate?
Kelli: As a doula.
Vanessa: Yes, as a doula.
Kelli: Yes. Yeah, absolutely.
Vanessa: I would love to hear your perspective on it. the differences in those, um, environments and the care.
Kelli: Yeah. Oh, very different. Right. It's a gift to me that I've gotten to see both ways of doing it truly. And I honestly feel like it makes me a more well rounded doula for at least I provide. Right. Because, I talk with my clients all the time about the options that they have.
They don't know that they have options., Their providers often aren't bringing things up in conversation in a way to let them know that it's an option. It's often brought up
in a way. Like, this is what's done. And are you going to do it or aren't you? Or when are you going to
Vanessa: Right.
Kelli: and I'm mostly to those in a hospital setting to,, so, because I've seen.
Midwifery care in homes and because I've seen home births, I know that it can be done differently
and I'm not trying to, discredit the, those in the medical establishment or act like, because I've seen a few home births, I know all the things it's definitely not the case. It just further drives home my point that it can be done a different way.
And, the general midwifery model of care, whether at home or in a hospital setting with midwives,
it's much more hands off.
Much more patient, , more allowing really nature to take its course that physiological event to truly happen without interventions, um, much as possible. Probably 1 of the biggest differences I see with home births and hospitals is the home birth midwives sometimes are just sitting across the room.
And are not
in in the birthing
environment unless requested, or unless they really feel like they have something they can say,
going to be helpful, like, maybe suggesting a position change or just offering some slight encouragement
and they're not just off in the corner on their phone, like they're observing and.
They're partying and
taking everything in, but they're just letting it happen.
And something major that I've
learned from the home birth space is that even as a doula
and I'm there for
purest and most encouraging of reasons,
thing for a partner or the birthing person's mom, let's say
all there for good reasons and we love this birthing person.
Right. But even our simple words of encouragement can like shake them out of the birth space. And have to start over.
So I've just learned
I'm not going to say anything unless I really feel like I have something important to say. And the way I doula
changes from client to client, of course, some, they need that constant encouragement.
They need that physical touch throughout the whole birthing process. And so I am that doula for that person,
but there's other people. That may not need that as much, or might feel distracted by that.
so I've learned over time
how to kind of morph, accordingly to whoever it is.
I'm serving in whatever birthing space that is. So there are so many differences. I feel like we could do a whole episode on its own,
the differences between home birth and hospital birth, And
I will say that home birth.
They hold a very special place in my heart, very different than those
at a hospital birth.
My husband and I planned a home birth for our child and had some medical complications and ended up having to deliver in the hospital. So my heart is a home birther myself.
And
so of course I've got the clients and the majority of the clients that I serve are giving births in hospitals. So I'm never gonna, say, Oh, because I believe in home birth because I wanted to do a home birth.
Everybody birthing in a hospital needs to, like, replicate that. That's just not reality, but I am bringing those experiences into play when I'm talking with those clients
Encouraging them along the way of how I know that things can be done differently or that we can
approach things with more, yeah.
Calm and confidence. And instead of
like, um, this is a medical necessity or an emergency. Yeah,
Vanessa: medical necessity of words.
As I'm sure you know, I only work in the hospital setting, because of my full time job, it kind of limits my ability to do a home birth,
so thank you for sharing., what's one of the biggest misconceptions you see about pregnancy, birth, or postpartum? This
Kelli: that's a really good question.
This kind of goes with, a question I saw about how do perinatal space in this country or something like that?
Vanessa: Yep.
Kelli: um, I wish that.
It was truly seen as this spectrum of life and not, it feels very compartmentalized is what I'm saying.
People see a pregnant person and they only talk to them about pregnancy and are you excited to have the baby and what's the nursery like? It just seems like
that's compartmentalized, and Postpartum which is a very long period of time.
really is only viewed
at maybe six weeks in this country. And, six weeks, you barely have come up for air after you've had a baby.
And that's if you've had
uncomplicated delivery, and you and baby are 100 percent healthy. You're still,
at 6 weeks like, I don't actually know what just happened or like what's up from down.
So
that's not just a postpartum
phase, but that's often what is like. Talked about in our society
then there's nothing after there doesn't seem to be much beyond
So I guess a big misconception I see is that people compartmentalize
it when really it's just this beginning of this entirely new phase or like your course, this metamorphosis.
Vanessa: Yes, exactly. It's a transformation.
Kelli: Transformation. And it's not just like you're pregnant for nine months. You are off for six weeks and then wham, bam, you're back to normal life. That is just ridiculous. , so there's so many misconceptions, , and to narrow it down to the top ones is hard, I guess, cause I'm on the spot. , I guess that's the, the one that's rising to the top for me.
Vanessa: I, I love that
Kelli: We ought not compartmentalize it, but actually look at the person as a whole person and, you know, also think about what that person might have been going through prior to being labeled as a pregnant person, like, we don't know
Vanessa: hmm.
Kelli: conception journey or journey to conception was and so, oftentimes our comments, I think they come from, genuine good places, but they aren't received that way all the time, so, you know,
What you might think is a just as innocent or encouraging comment to somebody now that they're pregnant might really land the wrong way with them.
And so, just looking at
like, truly like this transformation that the whole, the, um, the concept of matricence
of where
Vanessa: hmm.
Kelli: or when we talk about going from maiden to mother, those concepts, I wish were taught more. , regularly in our society, in our country, we hear of those in other cultures and other countries.
And I honestly think that they are several steps ahead of us
for having grown up with that understanding. And even just that more beautiful, like poetic language around it,
realizing that it's not just these like different segments of time. All of those segments of time are one thing and we need to understand them fully.
Vanessa: of time are all one thing, and we need to understand them fully. An attempt to get back to where you were before birth
Kelli: Yes.
Vanessa: and and that's not that's not the way it should be. And unfortunately, that's the way that society pressures women and brothers to. You know, perform if you will. And it's not
Kelli: Absolutely. No.
Vanessa: You are a new being. You have new responsibilities, you know, logistically speaking, and you are you are a different person. There is no going back. You can, um, change and improve and grow forward. But there's no There's no getting your life back, there's no of like what it was before child, there's no getting your body back, you know, like your body grew and birthed a baby. It will be different.
Kelli: Yeah.
Vanessa: be different.
Kelli: Yeah.
Vanessa: made to be.
Kelli: And what you're saying about like, there's no getting your life back or there's no getting your body back. That's not a bad thing because it should be.
So let's say you go through, I mean, so you're not the same person
pre marriage and after marriage, right? Like you have evolved.
You're not the same, um, pre college, post college, like those, and we don't bat an eye about those major life transitions, right?
But why, why we do this in this, I mean, what transformation can be bigger in life?
Vanessa: Right.
Kelli: You know,
is carrying life and birthing life of a whole other human or multiple humans. And, um. Yeah, we just don't, it's just not given the credit and the respect that it's due. It's not, I still feel like in 2025 we don't have a full understanding like of what actually happens.
You know, like now we are hearing more conversation regularly about perimenopause and menopause, but it has taken us forever to get here and how the hormonal change right after you deliver a baby. Is that, is the same as that of what you might experience in
perimenopause or menopause over several years.
That's just becoming more part of the conversation. So the fact that we still just feel like we have
a small piece of the pie as far as what we understand and what we're teaching
is insane to me.
Vanessa: Yeah, yeah, and I've heard different statistics too recently that have also come up, um, in the birth space around, like you said, the postpartum period is not just six weeks postpartum. It's not just the fourth trimester, which is commonly also referred to as can be anywhere from two to seven years for your
Kelli: Yes.
Vanessa: to adjust. physically, hormonally and everything. I said, too, had my son in November 2019.
Kelli: Mm hmm.
Vanessa: my fourth trimester led straight into a global pandemic. And I'm like it, he was three years old before I felt any sense of normal again, in myself and my
Kelli: Absolutely. It
Vanessa: our life. and I like to say postpartum is forever again, because you will never not be postpartum again.
And
Kelli: Right. It's true.
Vanessa: no matter how many children you have,
Kelli: Yeah,
Vanessa: You have evolved
Kelli: yeah. And that is so true that I've seen different statistics of how many years it is too. But we add on to that if you are feeding from your body that that elongates the process. Right? So let's say you, you are somebody that nurses your baby for 4 years,
Vanessa: years.
Kelli: body has to adjust to not making milk and nursing a baby anymore.
And then you begin more of like that.
body has been postpartum, of course, for those four years. Like it's then has to do another
shift to being like, okay, we're not, we don't need to make milk anymore.
What is our body going to do now? So you add all of that in there. And so let's say somebody is nursing their baby for four years and the average family, you know, has a baby every two to three years.
They're probably pregnant. You know, there's been a couple babies
time, so it's just this constant revolving door. And the transformation is a continual evolution really is what it is.
And, um,
so many misconceptions.
Vanessa: of
Kelli: think that was still the original question, but
Vanessa: yes. So I love how this is spiraled into a great conversation around it. So thank you for that. you did, touch on this a lot in terms of advocacy and the difference between home birth and hospital.
But what role does advocacy play throughout, that perinatal process, whether that be pregnancy, um, labor birth, postpartum.
Kelli: yeah, I love, I love this question specifically because if people know about doulas. Or if sometimes when you do like that initial interview where you're trying to figure out if you're a good fit, you can sometimes tell when they have just like Googled questions to ask a doula.
Vanessa: that. Mm hmm.
Kelli: People know about doulas and or if they're coming, you know, to a consult.
That's what I call it when we're trying to figure out if we're a good fit. they talk about advocacy almost all the time. Or like when we ask, why is it that you're pursuing doula support? I'm looking for an advocate in the birth space.
And sometimes I don't feel like they even really understand what that looks like or what that means.
Very clear. And that first 30 minutes with them
, yes, advocacy is a major component to what I do as a doula. And I definitely am going to advocate for you, but what I want you to do is learn how to advocate for yourself.
And so that's a huge. component of what my care looks like for the families that I serve.
Yes, I'm going to speak up and I'm going to remind your provider. I'm going to remind you and your partner in that birthing space and what you do or don't want,
but what work are you going to do throughout the pregnancy or throughout the labor itself
to use your voice?
I don't want somebody to feel like the doula is there to do all the speaking and do all of the kind of mental note taking and remembering of all the things.
Yes, I'm just automatically doing that, but I want them to be a very active participant and what's going on, which might sound silly because they're literally giving birth to a human, but they can,
some people can check out
because they're expecting their partner or their doula or somebody or their provider to know all the things that they want and remember it.
So advocacy is something that comes up a lot, with my clients and I am just along the way. Throughout my relationship with them throughout their pregnancy, trying to give them tips and tools and tricks
of ways to
basically put the ball in their court all the time.
So, let's say they're
planning a traditional hospital birth with an OB and
says, we're going to do X, Y, Z test at this week, number of weeks.
Well, they don't know what that term is. They've never heard it.
challenging them to ask the questions.
lot of times the advocacy that I'm encouraging people to do looks like asking questions and having a dialogue or
than it being a monologue coming from the health care provider,
makes sense.
teaching them.
Asking questions doesn't make them a difficult patient, or does it make them
extra? It makes them seem like they're
educated, informed participant in what's going on.
, reminding them that the word no is a complete sentence, or no but, you know, can be They say to their providers, we talk about negotiation,
and sometimes people are like negotiating.
Like when you go talk to a used car salesman, like, no, it's not like that, but you do have to kind of go back and forth
Vanessa: forth. Yep.
Kelli: at that used car lot. And the salesman says,
is the price and you, you don't oftentimes like accept that price, right?
why we can negotiate and ask questions and pressing a little bit harder
in other things, like buying a car, buying a house, , making sure that they got the sale price right at the,
grocery store.
Like we don't just lay down for those types of things, but when it comes to our bodies.
And birthing a whole new body or just like, Ooh, they're the,
the professional.
They're wearing the white coat. They have the letters behind their name. I don't know anything. And that, that just doesn't make sense in my brain.
And I'm trying to influence them for it to not make sense in their brains either.
So advocacy is incredibly important, but what are you going to do as the birthing person as the birthing person's partner
to
learn to advocate for yourselves to advocate for your partner. I think sometimes when I am very direct about this and that initial 30 minute call with somebody that might be a reason that they decide to go with another doula.
Maybe I was like, quote unquote, too direct in answering that. And maybe they weren't the person that was quite ready to find their voice and use it and
support from another doula that,
maybe speaks or thinks about advocacy in a different way.
And obviously that client and myself weren't the right fit,
but I, I think that that's a very key component to this conversation to the doula support conversation.
Yes, doulas are advocates and they're going to do that for you, but let's make sure you actually know what that word means in this birthing space
and how you can,
you
know, advocate for yourself
Vanessa: yeah, I like to say that as a doula, we don't advocate for you, we advocate through you.
Kelli: or with it.
Vanessa: Yes, yes, with you, through you, and in those, you know, opportune moments, for instance, you know, we see the OB reaching for the scissors for an episiotomy, and they haven't said anything, we might jump in and say, he's reaching for the scissors, do you consent to this?
Kelli: I have a thought to add to that. I tell people too. The way I practice as a dual obviously is different than how you do it or other people do it. But the way I practice, I actually speak to the provider directly very seldomly. I am, so in that instance, I see the provider reaching for a tool, I'll say, Vanessa, I noticed that the doctor is getting a tool off the table.
Do you know what that's for? Did you see that?
Or, um, you say the doctor is like, okay, your labor has stalled. We're going to go ahead and break the water now. And I'll say, Vanessa, do you understand what that means? Is that something that you wanted in your birth prep? I'm going to bring it back. The birthing person, or I'm going to say, um, Dr.
So and so, I noticed that you are suggesting blah, blah, blah. Like I just wanted to make sure that the what that is. So if I'm speaking directly to the provider, I'm phrasing it as like a question, or I'm restating what I think I heard them say,
Vanessa: say and
Kelli: slowing everything down because 99. 9 percent of the time, none of these things are emergent.
Vanessa: are
Kelli: have time.
Vanessa: I'm
Kelli: talk about it, or I'm bringing it back to the, to the, the birthing person or their partner themselves and making them
the question or making them clarify what they've just heard. Um,
that's the in between role that I see myself playing
a doula, helping facilitate that conversation, even in the midst of pushing out a baby, even in the midst of getting an IV, whatever the situation might be.
again, further driving home that point of advocacy. Remember, we talked about this all throughout your pregnancy. You have a voice. You get to say what you
Vanessa: talked I find myself all the time addressing the client and saying this would be a great time to run through BRAINS if you have any further questions. just a simple reminder of not only do you have questions, but these are some this is the acronym that we talked about of the specific questions that you could ask just very simply that will continue that conversation and then afterward, we will hold space for you to process that information and to make an informed decision. So simple things like that. Or if I notice that
Kelli: don't want.
Vanessa: having a difficult time processing that information, I can say, do you need a moment?
Kelli: Oh, yeah,
Vanessa: can step out of the room and we can give you a moment to talk privately.
Kelli: oh, I do that all the time space. Like,
Vanessa: Yeah.
Kelli: I said, like, it's not an emergency most of the time, or it's not even urgent most of the time. , and it can feel that way, the way that it's presented to you by the provider, or if there's 10 extra people in the room all of a sudden, and you just are feeling.
outnumbered, quite frankly. and I'll just say, would it be helpful if just the three of us? So if the, if the birthing person and the partner and they have a partner, so, and myself, that's the three of us, if the three of us talk this through, or I'll say, do you guys just need a minute? All of us can leave the room. Hit your call button when you're ready.
text me when you're ready for me to come back in. there's nothing that we have to make a decision about right this second. Your baby is safe and I'll show her the strip. I'll make her listen to the heartbeat. I'll say, look at the most recent BP rate that you had. You're in good condition.
Baby's in good condition. The labor is going a different way. I know there's questions that you have. Do you just need a minute? And, you know, even reminding them of that or educating
of that throughout the pregnancy, that they can just
take some space can feel really huge to them. And, you know, things that we're covering related to pregnancy labor and delivery, it applies to our whole medical system.
I doulas for like any kind of medical care you're getting, honestly, you know, because. You get lost in the medical terms and the procedures and the appointments and all these things, and you don't know what's left from right for the time
And so, my hope too, is that if I'm educating them well, and I am
advocating with and for and through them well, throughout their pregnancy and labor, that this lights a fire
in them, so that if they do find themselves, In a medical event later in life or their child is having
a medical event or just
happening with their child in school, they're able to use that BRAINS acronym or make those informed decisions or, you know,
Vanessa: absolutely.
And I love that. Feel like that gives a really complete whole picture to the advocacy is not just this like term to throw around, but it's
Kelli: No.
Vanessa: it's truly you have to live it. You have to learn it and live it. And as you mentioned, every doula will will see. Advocacy as a different role for them, generally speaking, I would say most of the doulas I know view it similarly where, like you said, if a client comes to us and says, I want you to advocate for me, or I expect you to be the one to speak up and ask the questions. I don't believe that's my role. Like you said, like that's not bodily to me. That is just passing it off from a licensed medical provider to
Kelli: Yeah, somebody else.
Vanessa: know?
Kelli: Yeah.
Vanessa: Yeah,
Kelli: And you know, I said it
Vanessa: ownership over that
Kelli: ownership. Yeah. I said it a minute ago too. Like it sounds sort of silly and I've said this to clients and they've literally laughed, but I'm like, you have to have some skin in the game.
And I know that your skin is literally in the game because you're like birthing this, but you have to do the work ahead of time.
I've kind of learned the hard way over my years of dualist support as I,
if,
I'm,
going to work with somebody who's never given birth before, I require that they take prenatal childbirth education.
It can be as a private educator. I've got a list of other private educators that they can go through, or they can go through their hospital, but that's my last.
My last resort, as far as a recommendation, because hospital childbirth education is more of a like one size fits all, and here's what it's like to give birth at this hospital, and here's what it's like to be what we consider a good patient. It's not really education, it's more of a like, I could have read this information on your website.
So I have learned over the years that I've had some clients who were first time birthers, wanted dualist support. We had great connection and working with them throughout their, you know, prenatal journey,
they hadn't taken any kind of childbirth education and they're asking me in the midst of labor.
Well, what does that mean? And what do I do now? And
what's the next thing? And
that still happens. When
first time birthers are giving birth because they're in a different zone and their brain is working differently than the brain that was taking a childbirth class,
and that's fine.
very different when somebody hasn't taken the time to educate themselves.
They haven't listened to a podcast. They haven't read a book. They haven't taken a class. They haven't talked to other birthers
in their circle, and they're just like, oh, the doula is just going to tell me in the moment.
Like, that's a lot of pressure on the doula, first of all,
Vanessa: all, the ownership,
Kelli: away the ownership, like you said, of you, the birthing person, and it's just leaving so much up to chance because you don't even know what your options are.
You don't know, you don't know what you don't know.
Vanessa: know what your options
Kelli: the doula as well, you know,
Vanessa: don't know, you don't know what you don't know. And I don't have the statistics on this, but I'm betting that the majority of what we could classify as birth trauma, it actually happens in those small moments
Kelli: Oh, for sure.
Vanessa: you end up having to make a decision in the moment, not being educated, feeling the pressure, feeling like birth is happening to
Kelli: To you.
Vanessa: not an active participant, and you're in the midst of this cascade of interventions, and after the fact, after you have time to process it all, you start to wonder, How did I get there?
Kelli: Right.
Vanessa: Or it can be one thing a provider says to you in a prenatal appointment that ended up impacting your whole mindset throughout your labor and birth. You know, birth trauma is not just an emergent medical event.
Kelli: Absolutely.
Vanessa: the key ways to avoid those small moments happening, like you said, is get educated.
Kelli: You took the words right out of my mouth. I'm just gonna piggyback on that. When you said you feel like birth happens to them. I talk about this all the time. And I see it in all different kinds of scenarios, but sometimes somebody will hire me for doula support and it's their second baby, let's say.
Vanessa: what you're
Kelli: Didn't do any prenatal education first time around their birth. They didn't really think through birth preferences or what could or couldn't happen in that first birth. And they feel like that birth, that first birth happened to them.
And in many cases it happened to them in a way that they weren't expecting that birth to go.
And like you said, it wasn't this major traumatic, like surgical medical event. It might have just been
a thing here and there that they look back and be like, I wish it could have been different or could it have been different.
Vanessa: been different.
Kelli: So now
Vanessa: So now,
Kelli: fast forward, they're pregnant with baby too, and they want to do things differently
they're pursuing doula support.
And if there,
there are many things that I hope are better about the world after I'm no longer in it, but probably The biggest one related to this work that I do
is that I hope that fewer people have a first time experience that they want to redo.
Does that make sense?
Vanessa: sense?
Kelli: Well, I don't want somebody to be pursuing childbirth education or be pursuing doula support for baby number two because they want to redo.
from baby number one.
Um,
Vanessa: That
Kelli: probably more like articulate, beautiful way that I could phrase this, but that's the bare bones of it, right?
I want fewer people to feel like birth happened to them.
And I want more people to feel like they were empowered in this process and they owned their story and they made these informed choices and they knew what was going on.
And there's so many variables about birth. We can't control it. We can't plan it. That's why I call it birth preferences, not a birth plan. We can't
Vanessa: me too. We
Kelli: but we can prepare as much as we can and then be flexible and be able to pivot.
But knowing, you know, that we have done the work, and it's not just that, like, sit in the classroom and take the class or sit online and take the class, there's head and heart work that's
bigger than that.
And so, yeah, I just love what you said about, like, feeling like birth happened to them. How often do we hear that? Or how often do we walk away from a birth?
And they might be on that
oxytocin
cloud nine high, which is great,
but in the back of our minds, as the doula, knowing what we know,
hope they feel
that they feel good about that birth, or I hope they don't feel like the doctor coerced them into something, you know, not pushing that on them,
keeping that internal.
Right. But many births where I'm like, I just really hope that.
They're as happy about it as they could be.
Vanessa: mm-hmm
Kelli: So
Vanessa: Yeah.
Kelli: to the choir.
Vanessa: Yep. so on that note, we've talked a lot about that childbirth education piece and how knowledge is power. So I would love to hear more about your. offerings in terms of you also have a self paced online childbirth education course
Kelli: Yes,
Vanessa: to launch. Can you tell us about that? This
Kelli: I do. Yeah. Thank you so much. This has been
has been
no pun intended, a true labor of love, and I've been working on it for a very long time. I thought I would launch it earlier than I did. And it's coming out now in the spring of 2025, because this is the time. That it needs to come. So yeah, it is a self paced online childbirth education course.
It's called your birth, your options because I must say the word options 157 times in the courts. It's about making informed choices with confidence. I
about the physiological event that is childbirth. I'm not telling you what you might learn in your standard hospital childbirth education class about the various tools and what it's like to get an IV and like all of that.
Like we talk about that,
Vanessa: Right.
Kelli: of course, but I want you to first of all, like understand the magnificence of what it is your body is doing. We talk about the anatomy of pregnancy and childbirth and how your body is changing throughout pregnancy to get you ready for childbirth and what that uterus is. doing when you're having a contraction and what your pelvis needs to do when you're ready to push out a baby.
I want you to understand your body in this process. We talk a ton about mindset. And I mentioned that
a few moments ago and, giving birth is the most physical event
Vanessa: it's an amazing
Kelli: experience, but. I talk all the time. It is
more mental than it is physical, right? You have to do that head and that heart work.
So if that means, you know, taking a class, hiring a doula, talking with other
birthers in your life, making sure that your care team
is this group of people that is trusted and that you feel like truly has your back and understands you inside and out,
you know, seeing a mental health therapist, seeing all of these different providers that are going to make you feel like you are as,
You know, boost it up and as held up as you go into this birthing process as possible.
The mindset is so, so important.
So, those are just a couple of the modules that are throughout the course. We talk about this
stages of labor. We talk about the various interventions or it's called interventions and variations of labor is one module. So that we can, I can prepare people for the things that might come up, the terms that they might hear I talk about cesarean because I feel like a lot of times in childbirth education, whether you're planning to give birth unmedicated or medicated, they're just talking about vaginal delivery
and sometimes it becomes necessary to have a cesarean, whether it's through like urgent medical emergency or sometimes birthers are like, you know what?
I'm done.
Let's just have the cesarean So I've talked you through what that is and what to expect and what your options are
Even in that type of birth, right you have options in all of these different sections of your pregnancy and labor and delivery process.
So it's just over eight hours of content.
Again, you can do it at your own pace. And I'm a big
podcast listener myself. And so
some people could choose to listen to the childbirth course, like you would listen to a podcast while you're washing your dishes, while you're in the school line or whatever it is. I'm thrilled to just get it out into the world.
The way I've been doing childbirth education for the last several years has been private teaching. So it's just me and the birthing person and their partner if they have one. And I've loved doing that. And I will still continue to offer that
to local central Ohio families. But it really limits me on how many families I can see.
Also it's 2025 and everybody wants something on the go.
And so I'm just thrilled to be able to offer it to the masses and to be able to get my passion and my interest and my,
years of expertise into the homes of lots more families.
Vanessa: That is so exciting. having been through the same process. I can totally empathize and that it takes a lot longer to
Kelli: Nice. Yeah.
Kelli is an excellent resource
Vanessa: to learn from.
She has excellent experience, again, both on the home birth side and the hospital side that has informed this course for her. I hope you all will check that out too to see if that's a great fit for you and what you're looking for your education.
Kelli: you.
Vanessa: Yeah. Along the lines of education, I'm sure in your course you might share some of these too, but what are some practical tips that you give some of your clients for an empowered birth?
Kelli: Yeah,
Vanessa: like
Kelli: yeah. So like I mentioned before, like your mindset, like working on that. And so, you know, what I talk about in that module is like the different ways that you can help prepare your mind and your heart for what's going to happen. So, yes, there's that, like,
that
literal, like, educational component, right?
You can read the book. Class, whatever, but maybe you learn and you process well through the practice of journaling or through some meditation practices. I talk a lot about positive birth affirmations and what does that look like for you? Is it you putting something new on your bathroom mirror every day?
Do you have random post its throughout your house that are just.
, words of affirmation, words of joy, words of power to see throughout your pregnancy. Maybe you bring those into your birthing space. Maybe there are things that your doula or your partner can recite to you when you're at a particularly low point in your birthing process.
Vanessa: Mmmhmm.
Kelli: Things like, I am strong, I am doing this, my baby and I are working together, like thousands of people are birthing with me right now, I can do this one more contraction, things like that. They're not like
statements actually
shorter, the better that you can remember that you're having a hard time.
So I talk about those things. I do talk about the importance of
prioritizing your mental health
and the ways that you can process with a safe therapist. That's not your jewel. That's not your mom. It's not your partner or your best friend.
Somebody that's just going to be neutral and help you realize.
The things that maybe you are getting hung up on that you just aren't able to see yourself. That's so, so important and prioritizing that in your pregnancy so that you have that already lined up for your postpartum
Vanessa: It's quite a tough
Kelli: experience. Um, some people, even if they're like, Oh, I don't really feel like I need a therapist throughout pregnancy or I've never really struggled with mental health issues.
I really strongly encourage them to even just have one or two sessions prenatally so that.
lined up for postpartum because we don't know like what it's going to be like or nothing else. You've just got a safe space to be like, here was my birth experience. Or like, I had a really rough night with this newborn.
Let me tell you about it.
trying to scare people into the postpartum mental health complications that could happen, but I want them to be aware of it.
and aware of, you know, what what you are potentially stepping into. So
I just talk a lot about the different providers in your circle that are going to help you feel like you are as ready as
possible to birth this baby and not only birth them, but bring them home.
And, and
them into your family and parent them.
Vanessa: them. Right. That's great.
Kelli: Yeah,
Vanessa: , some great tangible tips there. Do you have any practical tips or advice for a partner or support person for the labor and birthing process.
Kelli: yes.
in many ways, I think that. That makes sense. Like they're nothing's happening to their body.
, they're not having to prepare to be away from work for X amount of time. They're not having to
to all these appointments. And so for many partners, it just like,
kicks in once the baby is here.
But I want to challenge partners to be as.
in the process prenatally as possible.
So if that means you going to as many of those appointments with your birthing person as possible, certainly taking the classes together. Absolutely.
take the childbirth class. If we're doing breastfeeding, take that breastfeeding class together. Yes, you're not going to be the one breastfeeding that baby, but you need to be there to support the breast.
Um, but also like not relying on your birthing person to tell you what to do. Do postpartum
tell you what they need necessarily, but for you to try and
think proactively
what could,
what could they need? What could be most supportive to them at this time?
Read the books, listen to the podcast, ask other dads in your circle, you know, what their experience was like, and sometimes it can be harder for these male partners, if we're referring to male partners,
males,
, to maybe talk as candidly about some of this stuff.
But I think what it takes is like 1 or 2 people asking the question in the 1st place
to get that conversation opened up.
And regardless of male partner, female partner, I think it's so important to
be able to. have
that open dialogue with the birthing person to,
Vanessa: Yes,
Kelli: there's a couple of,
Vanessa: communication is key. There's a
Kelli: there's a couple of resources that I share
with my clients.
One of them is called
the Postpartum Pact. It's from the
postpartum stress center.
It's a four page document, a PDF that walks through like what we anticipate could be our needs.
postpartum. So one is for the birthing person. One is for the partner. And then the other couple pages are like working through things together.
And so I share that as a resource to my family so that they are thinking ahead.
I give that to them
Vanessa: I
Kelli: in the last prenatal visit that I have with them. So, and that hits at different points in the pregnancy as far as how many weeks they are,
But at least, it's usually at least
six weeks prior to their estimated due date so that they are thinking about it and,
and trying to have, create space to have that dialogue while they're still pregnant.
I guess the, the key takeaway would be to, to be present
the moment or in the process of pregnancy and not just wait until the very end
at the very end of the pregnancy or right when the baby is like coming home already to think, Oh, I should probably Do something about this, like, I don't, I also don't want partners to feel like things happened to them.
I want them to feel like they are part of the process and that they were really at active advocate with and for their birthing person and that they have done as much as they can to prepare for this major life stage as the birthing person has.
Vanessa: Yes, yeah, and you mentioned experiencing as a doula clients partners who, maybe have not been as involved or even if they have it's just hard for them to understand that transformation because it's not happening to their body.
And I have seen so many partners in labor and delivery. literally go into physical shock
Kelli: Oh, yeah.
Vanessa: events that are happening because can be really difficult to witness somebody that you love if it is a life partner being in so much pain, if you will, or experience something that you can't control.
Kelli: Oh, yeah.
Vanessa: to help, which is again where a birth doula can step in and help guide you in how to help and be more involved. But, then witnessing Your loved one literally birth a human out of their body,
Kelli: Yeah.
Vanessa: They're holding the baby or they're watching their partner hold the baby afterward.
And you can just see it in their face that
Kelli: Yeah.
Vanessa: in physical shock and not sure how to process what just happened. And they're trying to be there in the moment, but they're just really happy. Yeah. Shaken up
Kelli: Yeah. That's sometimes we're like, okay, sit down. Like we look like you're looking a little pale or you're looking a little woozy. Yeah. I mean, absolutely. And, I try to prepare my clients too, for what it's like to be the partner, to watch your loved one, whether we're using the word pain, the word discomfort.
You know, whatever it is, but they're going through something really intense and you can't know your, you physically can't know what that's like.
nothing that you can really, very little you can really do to help the situation. Your presence is very important.
Vanessa: your
Kelli: touch and your voice might be really important, but that's about as far as it goes.
And you can't, you know, transfer that pain onto yourself. You can't say, I'll do the rest. I'll go ahead and birth the baby from here. It is. It's a big transformation for them too. And yeah, we do see them,
the color go from their face. We see them start
wavy on their feet.
or they just can't
words.
They're just crying. And sometimes it can be perceived as, man, that guy's like really checked out.
That's not really the case. A lot's happening. And so going back to your question about like, what can they do
be a supportive partner to be prepared is you, you have to read those resources on your own too.
I will say there's not enough of them out there. A lot of the.
The books or even podcasts geared towards male partners, I find to be really dumbed down or they're kind of.
Vanessa: hmm.
Kelli: of like dad's user guide to like, like a tool manual type of thing or like a comic style and,
that's not helpful all the time.
Um, a book that I, I do refer to all the time is the birth partner and 1 client who. Bless his heart. Like, he used that book like it was a textbook. I mean, there were flags, and there were highlighters, and there were bookmarks,
and he really referred to it as his guide, and he was an excellent partner
to his birthing person, but I feel like that's a great one.
That's an awesome resource as a doula,
Vanessa: as
Kelli: Who's going to be a loved one of the birthing person. so that one is my go to as far as like helping these partners get prepared. And I apologize ahead of time. Like, I'm sorry that the options for you aren't awesome out there. I hope that that changes.
Um, but yeah, like how can we, and it talks to you in that book about what it's like to, to watch the transformation of somebody you love and what it's like to how to, like
the importance of taking care of yourself.
Vanessa: Mm hmm. Yeah. Well, maybe that can be our next project, Kelli,
Kelli: Oh, I know. Right.
Vanessa: right?
Kelli: Yeah.
Vanessa: yeah, and I think, too the vulnerability
Kelli: Hmm?
Vanessa: for a lot of these especially male partners to step out of that, more masculine, I'm going to be Papa Bear, Lion, which is needed too in the birth space, but also it's okay to be vulnerable and recognize that your life is changing too,
Kelli: Yeah.
Vanessa: it's difficult, as you said, to be, you know, a third party, um, in the, https: otter.
ai Further and baby, you know, that you can't just step in and, and take over and lift them up, um,
Kelli: Yeah, and I want, I want them to know that it's okay. That's part of why I share that postpartum pact because it gives them some ownership and like,
oh, like, I might be having a hard time. You know, I talk with my clients about
the prevalence of mental health complications for the
too. It's not as commonly addressed and it's not as commonly experienced as it is for the birthing person, but like your birthing person might be doing just great, just fine.
Cause the oxytocin is coursing through and they're breastfeeding and they're just living their best life.
But you, the partner might be having a really hard time
to give you the pass to be like, it's okay to say you're not okay.
okay to say that birth traumatized me just watching this baby come through you, it's, it's important to know that this is a huge life stage and a life transformation for you as well.
And, if you are a partner, male or female, that tends to go into that fixer role or that protector role, like.
You can't, you really can't utilize those two things. There's not really anything that you can do to fix the problem of what it's like. Or there's not a whole lot you can do to
be in that protector role.
Yes, you can use that advocacy piece that we've talked about,
but at the end of the day, it's still that birthing person that's doing all the work
and that has to cross the finish line.
Vanessa: Yeah, this has been such a great conversation
Kelli: Yeah.
Vanessa: of these.
I know we're aligned on a lot of these
Kelli: Yes.
Vanessa: I was just going to close out with what keeps you passionate and motivated in your birth work that, that keeps you going?
Kelli: What keeps you passionate? Um, you know, I, my husband and I have children of our own and thinking through what birth could be like for them in 15 or so years
Vanessa: . Mm hmm.
Kelli: we engaged. I've seen a lot as you have working in the hospital system. I've seen a lot. That's not
great in the hospital system. And I'm not here to like,
Rain on the parade of the hospital birthers or the hospital systems, but there's a lot that can get better
Vanessa: be a
Kelli: and this
Vanessa: and
Kelli: and there's a lot
of going back to that word advocacy.
There's a lot that we can do, whether it's,
you know, as parents of our own children or advocating with and for our clients.
And
a certain level of advocacy that needs to happen in the hospital space. People who work there to
the doctors and the nurses and all of the staff there. And so the Children that I have and, you know, hoping that birth
and feels
Um, understanding where we are in this political climate
2025. That
And I, I won't go into it much further than that,
but just knowing that our rights are not what they were for previous generations, which is
really hard to believe and hard to say, um, that keeps me engaged in this.
And then honestly, you know,
Being invited into this birthing space with every family.
Is such a gift and it is not something I ever want to take for granted. Every single family is different. Every single birth is different, but I learned something from every single one.
And so just when I think that I might have something figured out, or I can predict how a certain birther's
is, going to go, there's a complete wildcard and it shocks me and it humbles me, honestly.
So the mystery. Of what it is to birth a human keeps me engaged and keeps me curious because it's never going to be the same from one family to the other. And that's incredibly beautiful. And so I do, you know, I think my, my families and my clients that I've worked with for inviting me into this space,
there's nothing
what it is to birth a human.
And so inviting really a stranger into that space, we
Vanessa: hmm.
Kelli: get to know each other throughout the course of pregnancy. And yes, we might walk away. We're actual friends now, but really, you're pursuing the support of a stranger and inviting them into this major
life event. that I take for granted.
It's not something that I want you to feel like as the birthing person, that I'm just like, Oh, just another day of work.
You and the story that you are inviting me into is such a gift. And so that's something that keeps me engaged in the humility of like, man, somebody still wants me to be part of the story.
This is amazing. And it's such a gift to me. So those are some of the many things that keep me doing this.
Vanessa: Kelli, that was so beautifully stated and I totally agree as a birth doula, it is truly an honor to be invited into those spaces.
, I love your perspective. I love your passion, And for the listeners today and I hope that, something that you heard today resonated with you all, and that you check Kelli Blinn out and all of her offerings.
And if you're local to Columbus, I hope you get to meet her in person too, because she's such a joy to be around.
Kelli: Oh, thank you.
Vanessa: Thank you so much for spending time with me today. I hope you found this episode helpful and encouraging on your journey. Don't forget to hit subscribe so you never miss a future episode. And if you enjoyed today's conversation, I'd be so grateful if you left a quick review. It helps others find the show.
For more information, resources, and links mentioned in this episode, be sure to check out the show notes. You can also connect with me on instagram @breathandbirth.co for more support and inspiration. Until next time, remember. You've got this, and you're never alone in this journey.
