Missy Gallow’s Birth Story: Home Birth to Hospital Transfer from a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist’s Perspective
In this episode of the Breath and Birth Co. podcast, host Vanessa connects with Missy Gallow, a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist and Co-Owner of Misama Physical Therapy in Clintonville, OH. Missy shares her deeply personal and transformative birth stories, including her experiences with a twin birth via elective C-section and her subsequent plans for a home birth after C-section (HBAC). The discussion traverses her struggles with infertility, the intricate decision-making process around birth interventions, and the emotional and physical challenges during her lengthy labor. Missy provides insight into the importance of mental preparation, advocacy, and finding the right support system. Through her story, listeners gain valuable lessons on navigating birth choices, understanding the nuances of medical interventions, and the profound impact of postpartum care.
“I trust my body and I trust that something is going wrong, my body's going to tell me, I trust my midwife, I trust my doula and. we will go to the hospital if we need to go to the hospital.”
-Missy Gallow
A Birth Story Born from Experience
Missy's entry into the birth space began with her twin pregnancy seven and a half years ago. Facing infertility and ultimately having an elective C-section for her twins, Missy was propelled into extensive learning about pelvic health and the intricacies of childbirth. Her story is not just a tale of birth but also an insightful perspective from someone embedded in the health sector.
The Home Birth Dream and Its Reality
Despite having a challenging first pregnancy, Missy was determined to experience a home birth for her second child—an aspiration rooted in the desire for a physiological and empowering birthing experience. With her analytical husband swayed by documentaries and the support of midwives, doulas, and chiropractors, the couple prepared extensively for a home birth. Missy’s dedication to creating a comforting birthing environment was evident, from educating her older children with home birth videos to setting up the birth pool.
Unexpected Turns: Advocacy in Action
Missy's journey was laden with unexpected challenges. Despite her thorough preparations, she encountered prolonged labor, which spanned nearly 72 hours, and continuous cervical non-dilation. The pivotal decision to transfer to a hospital came only after exhausting all possibilities at home—a testament to Missy’s resilience and advocacy. Even in the hospital, Missy showcased commendable decision-making and modelled an active role in her care, questioning procedures and advocating for preferences like skin-to-skin contact in the operating room.
Processing and Finding Peace
Navigating through the sense of loss associated with a home birth plan changing course, Missy faced emotional and physical trials. However, her story also highlights the profound healing journey she embarked upon post-birth. Through therapy, support, and a unique postpartum soak that acted as a healing ritual with her family, Missy was able to process and find closure.
Empowerment Through Knowledge and Support
Missy’s experience serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of support, education, and advocacy in birth. Her narrative underscores how birth trauma can coexist with the joy of a healthy baby and sheds light on the significance of informed choices and personalized care. Missy's story is not only inspiring but also a poignant reminder to trust in one's intuition, seek answers, and embrace the resources available for a supported journey. Whether navigating birth choices or processing experiences, her tale offers hope and empowerment for all listening to the Breath & Birth Co. Podcast.
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00:00 Introduction to the Breath and Birth Co. Podcast
00:52 Meet Missy Gallo: Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist
02:16 Missy's Twin Birth Experience
04:58 Preparing for a Home Birth
07:59 Challenges and Physical Struggles During Pregnancy
18:42 The Long Labor Begins
27:45 Deciding to Transfer to the Hospital
30:59 Arriving at the Hospital and Next Steps
38:00 Increasing Pitocin and Monitoring Progress
38:22 Facing the Decision for a C-Section
40:17 Emergency C-Section and Immediate Aftermath
44:19 Post-Operative Challenges and Recovery
46:26 Reflecting on Birth Interventions and Personal Strength
52:55 Processing Birth Trauma and Seeking Closure
57:57 Understanding Medical Procedures and Their Impact
01:06:59 The Importance of Advocacy and Support
01:10:02 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
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Vanessa: Welcome to the Breath and Birth Co. podcast. I'm Vanessa, a hospital based, DONA- International certified birth doula, and passionate childbirth educator. I love to merge the power of your intuition with the precision of modern medicine to help you navigate pregnancy and birth your way. Each week we kick off with Monday meditations to bring calm and connection to your pregnancy.
Then we build your confidence through insights, birth stories, and care provider perspectives during thoughtful Thursdays. Ready to feel supported, informed, and empowered? Hit subscribe to the Breath and Birth Co. podcast today and let's embark on this transformational journey together. As a reminder, any information shared here is not medical advice.
For more details, visit breathandbirthco. com slash disclaimer.
Alright, today I have Missy Gallow here with me to share her birth story. She's been an orthopedic therapist for 12 years and a pelvic floor PT for about 6 years now. She's the co owner of Misama Physical Therapy here in Clintonville. I love that her birth story is laced with the perspective of someone who works in women's health and the birth space daily.
So Missy, how did you find your way to the birth space to begin with?
Missy: Hello, I got into the birth space, when I had my twins They're seven and a half. So when I was pregnant with them is when I really dove into more of the birth space and learning about the pelvic floor and how it relates to the whole body. and as a physical therapist, I just kind of knew, we were missing something, there was something that we weren't. even with the common back pain, hip pain, normal stuff you see in the orthopedic world. And I was just like, this isn't going to work for me. I got to figure out more. And then being pregnant with twins and having my own, pelvic floor issues really led me to want to learn more about this space.
And then just like share it with the masses because so many women. Need help in this area. So that's what led me to what I'm doing now. I am a co owner of Misama physical therapy. So again, we are in, we're specifically in the Clintonville area and we are a private pelvic and orthopedic physical therapy clinic.
Vanessa: That's great. Thanks Missy. And it is so great to meet you and to dive into your birth story, today. So you mentioned that you had a twin birth first, , you,, expand on that a little bit and how that impacted your mindset going into your second pregnancy.
Missy: Yeah, absolutely. So my twins are seven and a half, so that pregnancy was, you know, nearly nine years ago now. And had infertility issues. We were working with a fertility specialist. And, , so we knew the chance of twins was there. And so when we found out we were having twins, I was just learning a lot about, physiological birth and birth preferences and all of those things.
And once I found out it was twins, I feel like a lot of my, my hopes and aspirations for what a birth looked like kind of went out the door. Cause I was, you know, all of a sudden you're high risk. And all of a sudden you have all these extra things to consider because it's twins. And so I just feel like I didn't really get a lot of choices in that pregnancy. I ended up choosing elective C section. I had baby B was breach, baby A was head down. And my OB really just made it. clear that it could be risky to try a vaginal birth because baby B was breached So she's like you could end up with a vaginal birth for baby A and then a c section for baby B and like you don't want to recover from Both types of birth.
So it kind of was, you know, not fear mongering, I wouldn't say, but just kind of like leading me to choose the elective C section. So, there were a few complications at the end of that pregnancy, but I did end up choosing the C section and it went well. It was a fine C section and recovery, but I had a decent diastasis recti after having them and just.
spent years, learning more about C section recovery and to rehab my core. And I didn't actually think we were going to have any more children. So,while my dream was always to experience a vaginal birth, I just never thought that it was going to happen for me. And then this pregnancy was, not planned in terms of our plan, my
Vanessa: hmm. Mm
Missy: to to do fertility treatment again. And I just like, that felt like too big of a thing to tackle.
And so I kind of just. Left it up to God that if it were going to happen, it were going to happen. And it, and it did, and we were not expecting it, you know, seven years later. so my mindset going into this pregnancy was really like, happened for a reason. This must be God telling me that he desires this physiological birth for me.
And this, this redemptive birth almost
Vanessa: hmm. .
Missy: my husband is a pharmacist and so he's a very analytical, like. pharmacy kind of brain. And so when I decided I wanted to do a home birth, I thought it could be really hard to convince him, to get on board with that. And thankfully I was able to have him watch the business of being born and. That really helped him because it gives statistics and it's just like, it's good for someone that like needs more of the data, you know? And then once we met with, a couple of different midwives and interviewed them and, with my chiropractor who has had multiple home birth herself and she was able to ease his mind, answer questions that he had, he was on board.
So we decided we were going to do this home birth. I had my midwife, I was doing pelvic physical therapy. I met with my chiropractor all through the pregnancy. I had a doula and she was a Christian doula who aligned with me spiritually really well. I was doing, Christian hypnobirthing. I was listening to every Homebirth and VBAC podcast I could find,
Vanessa: Okay.
Missy: was just
Vanessa: Okay.
Missy: I forget what it's called. I think it's just called. Home birth. I don't know. It's a children's book about about their your mommy having a birth at home and them watching and how they help and being at the side of the birth pool and all the things. So my, my girls were super into it.
We watched it. Birth home births videos, like very graphic home birth videos with them at age six, so they were six when I was
Vanessa: Okay,
Missy: and we watched them with them and they were very intrigued and interested. I remember at one point in my pregnancy, my mom being like, I don't know if they should be there.
This is going to be too much for them. Like this could be traumatic. Like this could be scary for them. And I was like they're old enough that if they don't want to be there, I think they're gonna. They're going to let us know,
Vanessa: Hello, everyone.
Missy: the experience ended up happening, but as a new business owner, I was very stressed and worried about my business and about, taking time off and not having maternity leave, paid leave. Our house situation, just our house being too small for another baby to come into it, wanting to move financial stress, like kind of a lot of things. So there was stress while I also feel like I was really working on my mindset to get it in a really good place. there was also still a lot of stress happening in our lives on the external.
Vanessa: And how are you doing physically throughout the pregnancy?
Missy: I mean, from a pregnancy standpoint, I was very low risk, like blood pressure, heart rate, like everything. Baby was always looking good. Like, no issues from a number standpoint.
Vanessa: Okay.
Missy: like my body hurt.
Vanessa: Right.
Missy: I don't think my body does pregnancy super well. So I just have a lot of pelvic pain.
I have a lot of back pain. I developed some inguinal hernias in my 3rd trimester. So I had these hernias like down in my groin in the 3rd trimester that were just like super heavy and bulgy, to where it just made standing walking really difficult. I could, I could barely really walk. and then of course still working as a physical therapist. So my job is pretty manual and
Vanessa: Right.
Missy: and I was determined to make it to 40 weeks, And I did, I worked all the way until 40 weeks on the dot
Vanessa: Wow.
Missy: I decided to call it and surrender to needing to go home and rest and wait for my body to go into labor at that point.
Vanessa: Well, good for you for making it. with, like you said, it's a very physical job. So 40 weeks is a big deal.
Missy: And then the waiting game. So, you know, those last two weeks, basically from 40 weeks to, she was born at 42 weeks, on the dot to like the exact day of 42 weeks. So those last two weeks. a big, more like a big mental struggle, you know, it's like, it's when you start to feel the pressure, it's when you start to feel family and friends reaching out and voicing their concern or like, how long is your midwife let you go, or is it going to be dangerous to go too long or this and that?
And, and when you choose to do a home birth, you, you almost have to be very careful, like, who do you choose to share?
Vanessa: right.
Missy: So not only was I hoping to have a home birth, I was hoping to have a birth after a C section. So that's called a H BAC.
And that for a lot of people feels irresponsible and it was kind of hard to choose who to share that information with. I have a therapist, my husband and I saw a marriage counselor through my whole pregnancy. And we worked through that mindset a lot of like who we're going to share this with, or are we going to just choose to own it and share it and be like, you don't have to agree with what we're doing.
and be confident in our decision. So that to navigate that, you kno grandparents being co concern, you know, but
Vanessa: Right.
Missy: at the end when the Anxieties and stress and then they place it on you and you kind of have to really be able to shut that out and just be like, I trust my body and I trust that something is going wrong, my body's going to tell me, I trust my midwife, I trust my doula and. will go to the hospital if we need to go to the hospital. You know, so
Vanessa: Um,
Missy: A V back or you're going to have a trial of labor and I would, I would like literally correct people and be like, I am having a V back, not, I'm going to try because even those subtle like language differences can make you start doubting yourself. So, even as simple as my midwife being like, are you going to. Are you going to pack a hospital bag in preparation is that going to mentally mess with you? And do you want to not pack a hospital bag because you are firmly confident that you're going to deliver this baby at home? And like, knowing that there's always a chance that you will go to the hospital and being okay with having to pack your bag kind of in a more rushed. So all those little things play into that decision to do it at home.
Vanessa: Right. so you mentioned conversations with your midwife and I wanted to dive a little bit deeper into what that relationship looked like and how that differed from your relationship and your experience in an OB practice, especially with a twin more high risk. And maybe some key points the pros and cons of either side of that.
Missy: yeah, so, most people are familiar with traditional OB care during a pregnancy. you have your set appointments, you do a couple ultrasounds throughout the pregnancy. Your appointments are usually pretty quick and short, 15 minutes. But as you get closer to your birth, start to notice a lot of my patients start to have a lot of questions.
They start to have a lot of questions about what birth is going to look like, and then they start to feel like they're not getting the time they need with their provider. that's where we come in as pelvic PTs. But with midwife care, every appointment's an hour and they either come to your house or they have a location that you meet at, so they either have a home base or they come to you.
So mine came to me. First of all, that's amazing, right?
Vanessa: Right.
Missy: It's on my couch. My husband works from home most days. And so he was able to like come up from work if I scheduled it around his lunchtime and be present. And I told people, it's like, it's more of like a therapy session. Like there's the, the baby care, which is like 15 minutes.
You pee on the stick. She does the Doppler. She texts baby's heart rate. She texts your vitals. She measures. she feels like their palpation skills are 10 times better than an OB's palpation skills.
Vanessa: Absolutely.
Missy: where she knew if she was breech head down where she was like, honestly, unfortunately I think OB's don't palpate that much anymore.
So breech babies go missed until like a 32 week ultrasound. If you have a 32 week ultrasound. And then they find it. And then these moms are freaking out calling us or a chiropractor like, Oh my God, my baby's breech. Help me flip them. I have four weeks or whatever. And I didn't have those fears because I feel like she, she could feel the baby, you know, she knew where she was. And so again, the. The medical care is like 15 minutes of your hour appointment. And then you're just discussing like life and your, your goals and your aspirations and your fears and your anxieties , and what you want this to look like. And it's just like a very experience. Yeah, that's the best way I can describe it.
It just feels like a better connection. And then, you know, with 100 percent certainty, your provider is who is. Going to be at your birth.
Vanessa: Right.
Missy: unless something medically happened to them, they are like vomiting with the flu at home while you happen to be pushing your baby out.
Vanessa: Right.
Missy: they have a backup, but in most cases they know that they're on call for you and that they're going to be at your birth. and so with an OB model, of course,, I think women also don't think that through, there's no guarantee you're getting your provider in that room. You could get someone else in their practice and you need to be okay with that. You need to be okay with the fact that anybody could be delivering your baby. And for some women, that's not a concern. And so if your provider is not a concern for you, or it's kind of also like what you don't know, you don't know.
So
Vanessa: Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Um, I'm not thinking about it. No, I'm just thinking about the magnitude of the impact it's causing, which is how
Missy: care is like with a midwife. Compared to an OB because that is just like, not even comparable, how much better care you get postpartum with,
Vanessa: Yeah.
Missy: And I'm speaking specifically to home birth midwife care because I think hospital midwife care, you still would not get this number of visits and the intimacy of the postpartum care that I received.
Vanessa: did your girls get to meet your midwife beforehand at all?
Missy: They did.
Vanessa: wonderful.
Missy: most of them. I did them mostly while they were at school. So they were in kindergarten the time and I mostly did them while they weren't there, but they did meet her a few times. So it helped get them comfortable and they would like do the Doppler with her.
Vanessa: I love that.
Missy: and we got the birth pool in advance, so we blew it up. We did like a practice blow up of the birth pool and they jumped in it and played around. And so they were very familiar with what was going to happen.
Vanessa: That's great. I think that's important to, In just that preparation for them, especially because you were offering the opportunity for them to be there for it. I think anything that might feel different or foreign in their house, any people or objects like the pool, that could impact that.
So that's,
Missy: They knew my doula as well. They're my doula, has daughters around the same age and they have met, at the pool and things like we both live in Clintonville. So they knew my doula and they knew my doula's daughters. So it just felt very comfortable.
Vanessa: great.
Missy: Yeah.
Vanessa: Okay, well, I think We're probably to the point now where it makes sense to jump into, approaching labor, and then through delivery. So why don't you dive in?
Missy: Yeah, so I'll see if I can remember all the chronological timeline, but I ended up having my midwife do a membrane sweep probably at 41 weeks. I think yeah, my 41 week visit I let her do a membrane sweep to see if we could get anything moving along. I saw my acupuncture I was doing acupuncture the whole pregnancy as well. I saw my acupuncturist at 41 weeks I saw my chiropractor at 41 weeks. I did pelvic PT at 41 weeks some perineal massage internal pelvic floor release work I was also working with I met with a spiritual counselor at my church who I met with every other week, the whole pregnancy and she would, she would pray over me and we would talk about my birth and it was really special. I finally went into labor on a Monday evening around dinnertime. so I was 41 plus four, when I went into labor and I was finally like, oh my gosh, thank God gonna
Vanessa: Okay.
Missy: never been in labor before, so with the twins, I never went into labor. I had a, I ended up having a elective C section at 37 weeks because of, being diagnosed with, cholestasis. So with this one, so I've never experienced contractions before. So I didn't know really what to expect. And I had so many Braxton Hicks, like in prodromal labor. So much like the last probably six weeks of my pregnancy. And I was just like, when is this going to be real? You know? So it finally felt like it was real.
And, , looking back, I'm like, I listened to so many podcasts about this where they're like, don't get too excited. It's going to take a really long time. Try to go to sleep. So I tried to sleep that night. could not sleep. The contractions were, were uncomfortable. Like I couldn't sleep through them. I tried moving from my bed downstairs. My husband came with me. We went down. I tried sleeping on the couch. He tried helping me with some comfort things. Couldn't, couldn't get comfortable. I finally called my doula around 3 AM and she came over. And sat with me and really just like monitored the contractions.
It was just like, it's going to be a little while and gave me suggestions on how to like proceed into that next day and how to get my mindset right for a potentially long labor. So she came over around 4. AM. was really nice and helped me kind of mentally prepare myself for what the day might look like. And we got my kids off to school that morning and my husband took me to the chiropractor. So I'm actively laboring, this whole time, but my contractions were sporadic and maybe every like. Five to 10 minutes,
I ate of course all through this. And so all through Tuesday, I was just laboring and feeling like hopefully things were progressing.
My husband got the pool set up. And he worked like if you've never had, it takes a lot of work to get a home birth pool set up. I'll just say that to get the
filled, it takes a really long time. You can't just like stick your hose in it from outside, right? You have to use inside water. So you have to have this whole hose system and then to keep it hot enough.
So he was on it and he was super diligent to get the temperature right. And he was covering it with a tarp. So it would stay warm. it took him hours. my mom came over to help pick up my older kids from school, and she knew I wanted them there. So she didn't take them back to her house. she kind of just stuck around. And my doula and my midwife ended up coming back over around 8 p. m. night. So at that point, it had been like 24 hours. So this is the first time my midwife was coming into the game. and so we were kind of hoping, like, we were going into that second night after 24 hours of labor and hoping, like, things would probably pick up and, and go into action. I forget at what point she finally did a cervical exam, to see where I was at, because my contractions were getting pretty intense, like enough where I was, like, intervention. I was needing hip squeezes. I was needing help from my doula and my husband. They were getting intense enough. I had a lot of, discharge happening.
So just like, I felt like stuff was just kind of like pouring out of me. so we had like chuck pads, like all around the house. was going and sitting on the toilet a lot, seeing if I could like get a good, in a good position on the toilet. , but my favorite position was probably standing bent over, like leaning on a countertop or leaning on, I had this little like fireplace stove I leaned on and then my husband would come behind and he would like squeeze my hips in a, and while I was in this bent over standing position. And that was probably the most comfortable thing for me. And so we went at it, I don't know, till midnight. Maybe one in the morning, my midwife checked me again cause I was getting pretty uncomfortable and I wanted to know if I could get in the birth pool more for pain relief. And she was worried about me getting in the birth pool too early because it can slow labor down.
Vanessa: hmm.
Missy: don't want you to get in the birth pool until a certain point of labor. And I did not want to know how dilated I was. So every time she checked me, I had her keep the number to herself. did not want to know and have that mentally affect me in any way. So I just wanted to know if I had progressed from the previous check, a yes or no, have I progressed? And so she did that exam and I had not progressed. So I was kind of feeling defeated, feeling exhausted, had not slept yet. And she recommended that we try to do a reset.
So she recommended, take a Benadryl, take a bath, try to go to sleep. I'm going to go home and sleep. Doula going to go home and sleep and then we'll be back in the morning or you call us if things
Vanessa: hmm. Mm hmm. Mm
Missy: That's what we decided to do I don't have a fancy bathtub.
I have a regular little What I call a child bathtub. So I tried to take a bath and it was just so uncomfortable. I did like, you can't even submerge under the water and I was cold. And so I was just like, this is not working. So I ended up, I took probably at least 10 showers in those. 36 hours. I was comfortable in the shower, so I took a lot of showers when I couldn't think of anything else to do, I was like, I'm back in the shower.
So I showered, took a Benadryl, tried to sleep. Once again, the contractions were crazy intense at night, like so intense in the sideline position, just really excruciating for me. So I just couldn't get comfortable to sleep at all. so my husband and I ended up not really sleeping that night either. my mom spent the night again because we thought maybe I'd, I would be going, you know, birthing in the middle of the night and I wanted my kids there.
Vanessa: hmm.
Missy: slept in my kid's room with them. So she and my girls were in their room sleeping. then we have a small Clintonville house.
Okay. these doors are thin and the rooms are close together. And I'm, I did not know what I was going to be like as a laborer. And I was pretty vocal, moaning, groaning pretty loud. cause that really helped me, that helped my pain. So I got into these deep groans to help me get through contractions.
And I, my mom later just telling me like, We could just hear you all day long. So I don't think anyone really, I think my kids slept. I don't think anyone else really slept. so that was night two and she got them off to school once again and left the house and it was just my husband and I, my doula came back over to really help us that morning, but we told my midwife like no need to come back yet. My doula helped with the mindset. She helped with the pain management. and I had my chiropractor come over. So my chiropractor came to my house, did another session with me on that second, well, going into the third day of labor. it was a little challenging to do the chiropractic session.
Cause I was. contracting so much. So she would take breaks, you know, let me contract
Vanessa: Okay.
Missy: she'd
Vanessa: See the next half hour, and yeah. So I will be up here in a second or two. Yeah. Don't worry. Right there. You make the UI. And so yeah. We have no idea how many of these things are actually done in the app. Let's do this.
All right, here we go.
Missy: were approaching that 48 hour mark and I just was getting a lot of nighttime anxiety. Like I can't do this for a third night.
Vanessa: Right.
Missy: were a little easier to get through, but the nights were really, really hard and really long. So I had her come back over that Wednesday afternoon for another cervical check to see if I was any further along. she told me I was not so 40 and again, Doppler checking you know, this whole time as well, baby's looking fine, no concerns there. but cervical dilation just wasn't changing.
Vanessa: And your waters were still intact at this point?
Missy: yes. And at that point She really just was leaving it up to us to decide what to do. She had no pressure to transfer to the hospital. She felt very comfortable that we could keep going and that baby was tolerating labor. And it was really more of a, how much longer can you do this kind of conversation? So Wednesday afternoon is when I decided. I don't know that I can do this without pain relief. So I decided it was time to go to the hospital. And once again, bag was not packed. So my mom there and my midwife was there my midwife was helping me pack my hospital bag. And I was also, at that point, just like. Defeated and sobbing that I was mourning the home birth dream
Vanessa: Okay.
Missy: concerned about my older kids and them not getting to experience it. And the fact that I'm going to be at a hospital now and really just trying
Vanessa: Wow. Yeah.
Missy: cause they are very accepting of home births and there's a good working relationship there. So that was the plan. And so my husband and I were following my midwife. she called them and told them we were on our way and they said, and she told them it was not an emergency. We're choosing to transfer. She really wants an epidural just so she can get some rest and hope to progress, you know, more. they were like, we've never been this busy and she's going to wait in triage for like eight hours or more without an epidural. So that point, my midwife called us and was like, I think we got to pivot and go to OSU The car is probably the worst place to be because the contractions are so uncomfortable in a car that I just was like, get me somewhere. I don't care at this point, like take me to a hospital and OSU is where we live closest to OSU. And so, well, we live very close to Riverside as well. but we ended up turning route, going to OSU. I have a friend who's a labor and delivery nurse at OSU. I never told her my whole pregnancy that I was doing a home birth. She knew I was working with the, OSU midwives, which I was doing co care at the beginning of my pregnancy to get the ultrasound and the blood work and all of that covered with my insurance. and then at 20 weeks, I. discontinued care with OSU midwives and stuck with my home birth midwife. and so I, this friend, I just thought was going to maybe have some judgment on my decision of a home birth. So I chose not to tell her what, what I was doing. So I just, at that point was in desperation of like wanting support from a friend and with her profession and knowing that she worked there. So I called her and I just was like, are you at work? And she's like, yeah, I am. And I was like, I'm on my way. And she was like, okay, okay. And once again, I think she thought I was working with the midwives there. So she's like, we'll get you all set. And I was like, I'm a home birth. I just like. Kind of sobbed to her on the phone.
Like I'm a home birth transfer. And she was like, okay, that's okay. Like, we're going to do this or it's going to be okay. completely nonjudgmental reassuring. helped ease my fears of Transitioning to the hospital. So we got there and when you don't know where you're going, you don't know where to park.
Vanessa: it's just so complicated I hear. Yeah. Um, Sure. Um, Um, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay.
Missy: probably 10 minutes into our walk. And then we got up there and I will say OSU was super great. No, no judgment on being a 42 week home birth VBAC transfer. they were super nice. And accommodating and I couldn't have asked for a better anesthesiologist, who helped administer my epidural once we got settled into our room and hopeful for me that it was still going to be a really great vaginal birth. So, you know, by that point it was like maybe 6 PM on Wednesday.
Vanessa: You Um,
Missy: the fact that I'm not getting my home birth anymore, but how can I still advocate for myself in the hospital setting and get, get what I desire out of this birth. so I feel like I was, In control of the choices I was making and the interventions that were being placed upon me. They wanted to do an ultrasound right away. And I asked why, and they said, well, we want to see how big the baby is. not being rude, not being disrespectful, but my doula, I think was there at that point.
And, and again, she stayed quiet to let us answer, but I was like, we'll weigh the baby when she comes out, you know, we don't need. an ultrasound. I
Vanessa: Hello. Yeah Mm hmm
Missy: progress cervical dilation?
So I'll back up and of course, my midwife was there cause she helped us get settled and transferred and they wanted to know what had been happening, right? So she was relaying the information, giving them all my vital numbers and everything from the last 48 hours. And, they wanted to know how dilated I was.
And so she looked at me and said, are you okay? Like hearing the number now of, of like. Where you're at. Cause I still didn't know how dilated I was. And I said, yeah, I'm okay to know now. And she said, she looked back at the doctors and was like, she's been one centimeter, for 46 hours. I was just like. Are you kidding me? been one centimeter this whole time. I cannot correlate the amount of painful, like the amount of pain and contractions I was feeling, the pressure and like how low the base, like how low she felt in my body and that I was only one centimeter dilated. that number felt super defeating, but I tried to use that number to gauge. My next choice and my next decision making so I then chose to go with the Foley bulb help me dilate more so the Foley bulb was placed that evening and I chose to have the epidural in the Foley bulb for Maybe eight at six or eight hours to see if we could get up to that four centimeters Which for listeners, if you don't know, the Foley bulb can get you to four centimeters and then that's kind of the best that it can do, correct?
Vanessa: Yeah, and then it falls out and then you're like, Hey, fully bulbs out your four centimeter.
Missy: two units of Pitocin every hour. starting at some point that early morning. So again, I was probably fully bald by itself for six or eight hours and then added two units of Pitocin. and I like to tell my patients like Pitocin is like ordering a drink at a bar. You could order. order a shot, you can order a 16 ounce, you could order a pint, you can order all these different sizes of beer. are they giving you? Make sure you know what their plan is. How much is going to be administered and at what frequency?
Is it every 30 minutes? Is it 2 units? Is it 1 unit? Like, what is the goal? How much? What are we going to go up to? again, most people are just, I mean, no idea like, Oh, I'm getting Pitocin. I'm
Vanessa: Silence.
Missy: I think they did an exam at one point. And they were like, okay, you're five centimeters.
Vanessa: Silence.
Missy: a hospital and it's going to be fine. Well, of course, shift changes and things. And so I ended up getting a resident coming in and she started wanting to do more interventions.
So she's like, I want to break your water now. And I was like, why? And the reason was to do an intrauterine. Monitor.
Vanessa: Thank you.
Missy: So
Vanessa: Silence. Silence. Silence.
Missy: And so I was getting a little bit fearful of what, what that was going to mean.
So again, just so listeners know, like we didn't say like, okay, go ahead. We dismissed them. We called my midwife for advice. We called my doula for advice who had then left at that point and was going to come back. we just like thought through our choices for a while before deciding to do, you know, letting her break my water again, knowing that we were 50 some hours into labor, knowing that I was five centimeters, knowing that. I don't know how much longer the baby can tolerate this, is breaking the water going to help me dilate so that we can get this thing going so that, you know, we can have this baby today. So I
Vanessa: Were they able to tell you what station baby was at at that point?
Missy: I think they said like zero. I
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Missy: every hour for six hours. And we got to 12. So I'm at 12 units of Pitocin now. We wanted to hang there for a little bit, make sure she was tolerating it. Well, the water had been broken, like all the interventions were in place and we were just hoping that things would progress. and then by the early evening, maybe four or five. Is when we started having some decelerations on the monitor, and the resident came in to discuss our options and started having the C section conversation with us, which I really still didn't want to entertain at that point. I was like. Listen, I'm fine with some decels like I want more information, right?
Like I'm not just switch to the C section right in this moment. I think she and I just didn't have good rapport. She wasn't a very, she didn't have good bedside manner. So I wasn't feeling. Secure and safe with her. And I didn't like that because once again, I think the provider is super important and I had already given up my midwife, right?
Vanessa: Right.
Missy: I wanted to speak with somebody else and just get their opinion on the situation.
And a couple more big decels happened and they kind of voiced more of their concern that it was becoming an emergency that we get my baby out. And my husband started getting really, fearful then he's not. Really an emotional guy at all. And he was kind of at his breaking point of feeling scared that, you know, the baby, and was just like, I know this isn't what you want, but I just feel like we, need to do the C section.
I just, I don't know what else we can do at this point. And so he was feeling super nervous my doula was back on her way. So she was like rushing to the hospital to try to be with us. And ended up getting there right before I started feeling really bad, getting really nauseous. not feeling good.
And again, maybe I was just getting nervous about. The decision and that the D cells were starting to happen, but my blood pressure and everything was, was stable and good like this whole time. So we're approaching 72 hours now and, decided to do the C section. So my husband's gowning up and my doula, again, being Christian and knowing our faith, she prayed with us, which was. And so lovely. And, was going to wait for us while we went into the OR. And then, as we were wheeling there, I started getting more nauseous. And when we got to the OR, I heard them like really getting more frantic and calling out like code blue and just like. A lot of chaos happening. And I was like code blue.
I think I know what that means. And that doesn't really sound great. I think that's like cardiac. And then they just started talking about the baby and like babies decelerating quickly and like, we got to work quickly and like, just, it just got. More intense and they made it clear that they weren't going to be able to like prep me in the fashion They like to prep they needed to go quicker so they wanted to get me on the table as quickly as possible and Start working and they weren't gonna be able to do the like I don't know how many minutes, but they like to sanitize prep and sanitize their, patient for however many minutes before they cut open.
And they were choosing to not do all of that. So they were like, the risk of infection is going to go up, but we need to get her out. And I start vomiting on the side of the O. R. table. Once again, had a great anesthesiologist that was able to get some Zofran in me and like regulate that. will say that that nurse that was really great through the day, she was able to settle me down and ask my preferences for the O.
R. And so that was super helpful. So skin to skin at that point, you know, it's like, I already gave up the home birth. Now I'm giving up the vaginal birth. What can I, what can I have? You know? So I really wanted skin to skin in the O. R. I did not get skin to skin in the O. R. with my twins. And that was really important to me. So she was so great at making sure there was, what she called a Joey band underneath
Vanessa: hmm.
Missy: uh,
Vanessa: Hello. Hello. Hi.
Missy: we got two minutes. I did have a clear drape cause I wanted to see, not everyone wants that, but that is an option. I saw her come out. Thankfully she was wailing.
She, she looked healthy and good. She did not look like she was in distress. , she did swallow some meconium and stuff, but. My other preference was that they didn't weigh her in the OR or like wipe her completely clean. and so they gave us two minutes of the delayed cord clamping and then they whisk her off to the, to the warming table with the PEDS team and everything.
And so my husband had to really step up and advocate like, and he is not that kind of person. He's like, they're the authority. I'm the. I'm the spouse, like I'm not going to speak up here, which I think a lot of spouses feel that way. And I was so thankful that he like stepped outside of his comfort zone and was a little vulnerable in that moment because he knew how important it was to me. he walked away from me, went over to the table where they were. Trying to swaddle her up and do all the things. And he was like, my wife wants skin to skin. If she's good, like I'm going to take her over to my wife now. So he had to kind of step up in the OR, which I'm really thankful that he did and was able to bring her over to me and, get the skin to skin on my chest that I was looking for.
We did not weigh her. Until we got to post op. it was kind of a whirlwind and it was a little bit of an aggressive C section compared to my first one, which was elective and like a calmer environment, even though it was twins and there was a lot of people in the room, not the aggressiveness of this one, which, , I learned a lot later once I got my. And everything that like they had to cut me a lot wider on this one and there was more blood loss in post op I started getting really unstable with , How I felt I started, I was shaking uncontrollably that I couldn't hold, Eden. And so they took her to weigh her and wipe her, do all the things.
And my, my nurse was kind of not sure what to do with me. She couldn't get a blood pressure reading because I was shaking so much. I didn't know if I was going to pass out or I felt like I was going to pass out or have a seizure or like something. I just felt awful. And she's calling to try to get, my blood like panel to see like what my iron level was and kind of just like make sure she knew medically what to do next for me. And I will say don't want you to have anything other than ice chips. in that post op recovery room and my doula was really fighting for me to have some apple juice and thankfully she's familiar with OSU enough that she knew where to go to get the apple juice. So she just took herself get the apple juice and she just kind of brought it to me and I sucked down like two of those little four ounce apple juices and like literally started feeling way better. Like,
Vanessa: Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence.
Missy: on how to manage your C section after you have one in the hospital.
but what I think I want to just get into more is the lessons I learned from this experience. And how, once again, being in the birth space myself, it can be really easy to so much information that you think every intervention in the birth world is negative, right? Like Pitocin is terrible. Don't let them break your water. Don't let them do, you know, like so many things that we hear as birth workers, because we hear about the cascade of interventions and how Detrimental it can be and lead to unnecessary C sections, right? So
Vanessa: Right.
Missy: you end up being that person that had all the interventions and had the C section.
You start to feel like what's wrong with me? What? Why didn't my body do what I thought it was designed to do, which is have a physiological birth. So now I'm a failure and now. I can't feel good about myself, you know, so it took a really long time to process this birth and work through those feelings of like interventions were given to us and they need to be used appropriately and we do over utilize them, especially in this country and in the United States, but I'm the small statistic that. If I didn't have the interventions. And I didn't have the c section, I'm not sure my baby would be here, you know,
Vanessa: Yeah.
Missy: we have to be really careful, I think, as birth workers to not, disregard the interventions and what they can provide for us, but also stand really firm that like, we know it's corrupt and that there's a lot of unnecessary interventions happening. So for me, I think I lived with those lies for a little while that my body failed me. God didn't want the birth that I thought he wanted for me. And those are all lies. it took me a while to realize truths that like my body's really strong really resilient. the more that I tell my birth story.
The more that I've heard, like, I cannot believe you stayed home for 45 hours before you went to the hospital
Vanessa: Absolutely.
Missy: pretty insane. Like I would have left after 12 or whatever the case may be, but the amount of people like just reassuring that how I persevered and how I, really like I did try.
I tried everything I could possibly try to have the birth. That I wanted, and even though it's not what ended up happening, I feel proud of advocacy that we had at the hospital and, you know, thankful that you can be thankful that you had a healthy baby because that's the other thing is we dismiss women too much when they have birth trauma,
Vanessa: Mm hmm.
Missy: But I have a healthy baby, so I just, I shouldn't be complaining, you know, like I'm fine. They're fine. So it's fine, but you can sit in your grief. You can grieve a dream and you can have birth trauma and still be happy and joyful for the miracle of your baby and everything that it provides.
Vanessa: Yes. There's big duality there that I think, often gets dismissed, like you said, from the birther's perspective of, it's okay to mourn. It's, I think what I'm taking away too from your story too, as I'm processing it all, is that at each, I'll call them crossroads, you know, at each decisions that you had to make, I was really impressed in that those advocacy touch points of You asked the questions, which you started with why I think every single time you said I asked why and then based on that information you ask clarifying questions or you use those data points to inform your decision and I think as a birth doula, we always say we want you to be an active participant in your birth.
We don't want You to feel like your birth happened to you.
Missy: Yes.
Vanessa: And I feel like as you are telling your story and at each of those moments, I was really proud of you for stepping up. And even your husband, like you said, that is really hard to do. And that takes a lot of courage to say, I see what you're doing.
But this is our preference. This is really important. This is a priority for her. I'm taking my baby and I'm bringing her to her that that was probably a really , pivotal moment for both of you. In the birth story, in your babies bonding with you, in your relationship with each other, and the trust that you probably, you know, amplified with each other in that moment, and the respect that you had for each other, like, kudos to him, and to you both, each step of the way, and I think it's also a beautiful message, too, that a lot of times in the birth space, we say things like, your body was made for this, trust your body, And all of that, so that then on the flip side.
It opens up the opportunity for birthers and women to say, if that didn't happen for me, that means that my body failed me or that my body was not made for this or that I am not worthy of that in any aspect of my life. so again, the fact that you are able to do that work to that inner self work and recognize those lies that your mind was telling you, to get those truths and to be able to share your and help others advocate for themselves in similar situations.
I think that's really important too. So thank you so much for sharing.
Missy: and the only other thing I wanted to touch on was just, If you are dealing with any birth trauma or processing your experience, you know, we'll going back to the midwife experience. So I got, six postpartum appointments with my midwife in the first four weeks.
Vanessa: That's incredible,
Missy: Like I don't so many appointments, at my house. and that is just clearly like, not heard of in the OB world. Like you go at six weeks and they just are like, are you okay? And do you want birth control now? And they might do a, like a check to see how you're, if you tore, like how that's looking.
Vanessa: yeah, and here's a PPD screening test that you can fill out.
Missy: Do you have any depression? Here's some Zoloft. she was really like processing and grieving this birth for me too. And suggested, you know, cause my only, I say regret. I don't even know if that's the right word, but my only regret during The labor process at home was I kind of wish I had gotten into the birth pool when, when she told me to reset and take the Benadryl and take a bath.
Vanessa: Thank
Missy: Since we were the whole point of not getting in the pool was to not slow down labor. But that's exactly what we were trying to do. We were trying to slow it down and reset. And my husband had worked so hard on getting it ready. And I know I would have been so much more comfortable in that birth pool than my little bathtub upstairs. So I really wish I had gotten in the pool to reset. But, you know, you can't dwell on like, well, what if, what if, like, what if I
Vanessa: you.
Missy: the pool would have rested with my cervix have dilated more like, I don't know. And I am not going to get anywhere dwelling on the what ifs. She suggested, you know, the other part I was mourning was just that I didn't get that experience with my twins and my husband, like with the home birth pool and everything.
So she suggested doing a postpartum soak where they would bring the pool back, fill it back up. My doula would come. she also was a birth photographer. So take photos and do a postpartum soak with the baby and with my twins in the birth pool. my first response to it was. That is going to take hours to set up that so much work and like you have to come and my husband has to set up the pool and it's going to take and all of these things and it really came down to like, she's like, but that's okay.
Like, we want to do it for you and it's like, again, sitting in the, like, I don't feel worthy of taking up that time and space again for all of these people to have to set up a pool for me again do a, like a little. Postpartum soak ritual so I can heal more. And thankfully I ended up accepting the offer we did the soak and it was the most beautiful, magical, like hour where we just in the pool with the baby and my girls got their swimsuits on and got in the pool and swim around and we have beautiful photos. And I will say like she was the baby Eden was so calm. In the water. It's like she wasn't birthed in water, but if you could see her now at 11 months old, like she obsessed with water. Like she is trying to dive into the bathtub and she takes showers with me and she loves the pool. And like, I can only think. We did this soak with her at three weeks postpartum once my incision was healed and I could, I could soak, and it was just a beautiful, like healing part. So I just want to encourage any other woman who feels like they need some closure to their birth or they need some sort of special ritual or something that they didn't get and they, and they're too afraid to ask for it postpartum or that it's going to inconvenience. people like do it anyway, it's worth it. You're worth it. And I highly recommend it.
Vanessa: I love that so much and I do remember seeing those photos and they were absolutely beautiful and I can only imagine what it felt like for you and the healing that you gained from that.
Missy: it was great. Yeah.
Vanessa: questions in there, too. Now I'm sitting in, like, just the beauty of the ritual.
Oh, we were talking about, before we started recording. sitting in I guess reflecting back or trying to look for answers why that physiological side of thing , you had mentioned diving into the medical research side of things and maybe, doing some research on why, your cervix didn't dilate, as quickly or as much as you anticipated it would.
could you share a little bit of that information too?
Missy: so I had a leap procedure which is a procedure on your cervix when there's an abnormal Pap smear. So, you know, your annual pap smear is to swab your cervix. screening for cervical cancer and those things. And then if you do have an abnormal pap, or HPV or anything that comes back like that, then they suggest what they call a LEAP procedure.
And it stands for Loop, electrosurgical incision procedure, but it's basically, lasering of your cervix. And it's funny back when I had it, almost 20 years ago, remember being told by my OB. could thin your cervix, and you might have a hard time holding babies in.
Vanessa: Okay.
Missy: And then when I got closer to their birth, I remember being checked and my OB being like, wow, you have a cervix of steel. That is the strongest cervix I've ever felt and it's not dilated at all. So you should be good. I don't think those twins are coming out. So we'll just do the C section at 37 weeks.
And I, and then that comment stuck with me, right? You have a cervix of steel. so going into this birth, I had to like, Do so much visualizations of my cervix of like, it is not steel, is malleable, it can open, right? Because that was my biggest fear in the pregnancy was that my cervix would not open. did so much around that. So my thought in the research I've dove into, and we don't have a ton yet on it, but where there is some research to support that elite procedure, what they told me 20 years ago, it was going to thin my cervix and make me not be able to hold a baby in, but that it creates a lot of scar tissue on your cervix and it might not let it dilate. So my belief now is that that is probably the physiological reason why my cervix wouldn't dilate on its own to more than one centimeter after 45 hours of intense labor, needing a Foley bulb to get to four, needing like everything that only ever got me to five centimeters in 72 hours. Is the scar tissue that I have on my cervix.
that is my hunch. And so I can also sit with that too. It gives me a little, peace of mind that, my body, was designed to do this. And unfortunately, I do have just something that I think affected my ability to get it done, the way that it was intended to get done.
Vanessa: Yeah, thank you for sharing that. And I did remember too, you had talked about, getting your surgical report after your C section. I love that you brought that up because I think a lot of people don't, understand that they have a right to their medical records and that if that is something, you're curious about, generally speaking.
if you have a very specific reason that you want to see them, you can ask for them and read through them. And if that needs to be part of your healing and processing journey, you have access to that too.
Missy: Absolutely.
Vanessa: so do you want to share any more about that or what
Missy: I mean, even I didn't know where to go. I was like, do I call OSU? Do I call the OB? Like, where do I get the, and then, you know, it's super easy. All you have to do is log into your OSU, whatever hospital you deliver at. You go into your patient portal, you sign off that you want to request your medical records.
You pick the dates that you want to request and within a week's time, like they are required to send you all of the medical records. So, I mean, everything, the nurse writes, all those days of
Vanessa: they're charting?
Missy: all the charting, you have access to see all of the charting and then the whole operative report. It went into detail on the scar tissue that they saw from my previous C section. It went into detail that they had to cut through my rectus abdominis two inches, more on one side, which they never told me any of that afterwards. And again, being that I was a home birth transfer, I was never even scheduled for a followup with any physician with any OB never once where they like. You should come see us at six weeks to check on your C section scar. Like that
Vanessa: Yeah. Silence. Silence. Silence.
Missy: to check up on the C section recovery. No, like nothing. So again, I felt confident because I know how to. I know how to assess my scar. I'm a physical therapist. I know how to check for infection. If I felt like there was a reason to go in, I would have went in. I had a midwife coming over. five days. So I felt very comfortable not going to see someone. but it's just pretty wild what can be in an op report that you were not told at all.
So I do think it's helpful if you, if you're curious, if you're ever dwelling on like what happened, In your surgery, and this can be for any surgery, but a lot of women that I see are like they, they have trauma from the O R and they don't even know what happened to them in the O R. So sometimes reading through it just gives them like that validation.
Like, Oh, this was actually like a pretty intense surgery, like a big abdominal surgery. This was not like, we just think like a C section. It happens every day. Like there's millions of C sections happening. Like, no, it's a, Big abdominal surgery is the deepest layer abdominal
Vanessa: Silence.
Missy: Like that they perform other than like, you know, rectal surgery and stuff like that.
Like you are going seven layers deep to the uterus. there's so many implications there, you know? So requesting your opera poor is. my opinion, you're right. Like you said, and just can give you a really good information. It can give us really good information as providers too. Like someone bringing me their op report, I can be like, wow, okay, this is what actually happened.
And this is where I might feel scar tissue restriction. when I'm feeling someone's abdomen, like it can, it can give me information. I don't need it, but it never hurts to see it.
Vanessa: Yeah, I actually did the same thing too. I had, an endometriosis excision surgery that turned out to be more major than we even thought it was going to be. and my provider actually did take the time to walk me through the full report in my post op appointment and she provided me all of the images that they took while in there.
Missy: That's
Vanessa: and I was curious, too, so I think that that's why she kind of approached it that way, too. She knew that, that I wanted that information and that I needed that validation after 15 years of being in chronic pain and being told that it wasn't real. that was so helpful in healing for my recovery and my, you know, the traumas that I had, not just through surgery, but like I said, like that whole 15 years of being told nothing was wrong with me.
It was all in my head. and then like seeing the report, like, no, it was all over. and here are the pictures. Yeah. Here are the pictures. This is what it looked like. And I had, you know, like, this is what this type was, and this is what this type was. And, um, Anyway, so yeah, so I, I just wanted to share that too with the listeners that, all of your medical records are your right, and sometimes it can be, the unexpected healing that you didn't even know that you needed to just read through them And validate, and provide more information, like you said too, it can be just data for your physical, literal healing process too,
Missy: I'm glad you got it.
Vanessa: Yeah, she actually, she sat down too with my husband and my grandma was there too, An immediate post op, so like I was in recovery and she sat down with them and told them what she could at that time and like validated them and like they all shared tears together over it and so it's just, it's amazing, like you're talking about the difference between midwife and OB experience.
It's just amazing when you find a provider that truly is empathetic and has that bedside manner to understand that these are major life moments and to sit with you through them and like to take time and give you that space in their busy schedules, and to make you feel seen and heard in those moments.
It's, it's a rarity, unfortunately, but so, so important.
Missy: It is. And they do the surgeries, their job. So it can easily probably for them become just a habitual, like you're a number and not sit with you as the person and really empathize with what your experience is.
Vanessa: Yeah,
Missy: Yeah.
Vanessa: so important.
Missy: Yeah.
Vanessa: Was there anything else that you wanted to touch on before we sign off?
Missy: I think that was everything. I just, hope that this helps people, you know, give them the courage to make good birth decisions and advocate for themselves. Like you said, being a passive patient an active participant. Of your birth and you don't have to be complacent, or conform to the complacency of this culture. just because you want to advocate doesn't mean that you're being aggressive or rude. and that knowledge is power. I hope, to give everyone and just to give other mamas who are going through any birth trauma, the empathy that. I get it. you'll cry a lot in the shower after your birth and it gets better. as the months go on would highly recommend finding an amazing therapist to work with all of that, because you don't have to go through this alone. people out there to support you.
Vanessa: Absolutely, did you go through any specific type of therapy after to help on your journey out of curiosity?
Missy: I just work with Sarah at Saunders Psych, who specializes in, birth trauma, prenatal, postpartum, motherhood,
Vanessa: I'd love to hear that. She's on my referral list. Thank you so much.
Missy: she's amazing. And there's, a few like minded like her in our area. So, you know, happy to give people resources for people that are.
you need in person or virtual, if you're afar, because that's the beauty of mental health therapy is it can be virtual. So there is no excuse to not take advantage of it. because it's so important to talk it out
Vanessa: Yes,
Missy: yeah, can't, you know, it can't just be family and friends. for me, The third party, person that didn't live it with you and has just that psychological background to really piece it through with you is for me, it just was incredibly helpful.
Vanessa: Yes. And I love that you touched on the virtual aspect. I, had, EMDR therapy during COVID to process my traumas. I was like, there is no excuse. I can do this virtually. It needs to be done. And that was a time period that was traumatic for a lot of people. And you didn't have a village or anything as a new parent.
so that's also why I asked if you had a particular style that helped for you, because I know everybody's different. EMDR really helped me.
Missy: it did.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Missy: about it, but no, it was not, just talk therapy. I know she has. lingo. That probably makes more sense, but it was not.
Vanessa: Well, thank you so much Missy.
Missy: Yeah.
Vanessa: Okay
Missy: Thanks for having me. This was really great.
Vanessa: Bye.
Vanessa: Thank you so much for spending time with me today. I hope you found this episode helpful and encouraging on your journey. Don't forget to hit subscribe so you never miss a future episode. And if you enjoyed today's conversation, I'd be so grateful if you left a quick review. It helps others find the show.
For more information, Resources and links mentioned in this episode. Be sure to check out the show notes. You can also connect with me on Instagram at breath and birth. co for more support and inspiration until next time, remember you've got this and you're never alone in this journey.
